Science Jokes

I know a chemistry joke, but I fear it could get a bad reaction.

Two atoms bump into each other.

One says, "I think I lost an electron!"

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive!”

Why are chemists excellent for solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions!

Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor?

There was no chemistry.

I had an argument with a 90° angle.

It turns out it was right.

A photon checks in at a hotel.

The clerk: Any luggage?

Photon: No, I’m travelling light.

"What is a neuron’s favorite television channel?"

"The Ion Channel."

A science lecturer and a student walk into a restaurant.

The scientist says to the waitress: "Can I have a glass of H20?"

The barman hands over the drink and the lecturer walks away.

Wanting to fit in, the student says to the waitress: "I'll have a glass of H20 too."

His funeral is tomorrow.

Did you hear about the girl who got cooled to absolute zero?

She's 0K now.

"How's the restaurant on the moon?"

"The food was fine, but it had no atmosphere."

"Where does bad light end up?"

"In a prism."

"What was Schrödinger's favorite childhood book?"

"The Cat in the Box by Dr. Seuss."

"Who is the most emotional woman in the world?"

"Amy G. Dala."

Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and the opera?

“Because they are very cultured”.

"Why did Werner Heisenberg detest driving cars?"

"Because, every time he looked at the speedometer he got lost!"

"Do you know what seems odd to me?"

"Numbers that aren’t divisible by two."

What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?

“Thanks for the memories."