Science Humors
Even attractor states lose stability after three cups of coffee.
Why did the galaxy refuse to play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you have a gravitational field that bends light.
Feynman believed in solving simple problems first.
Neuroscientists attempted this but got distracted by the question, “What is consciousness, anyway?”
Are you a brain scan? Because whenever I look at you, my whole neural network lights up.
Markov chains describe brain activity, because your thoughts only make sense when you forget what came before.
If dark matter doesn’t interact with light, how can we be sure it’s not just shy?
“What is a neuron’s favorite television channel?”
“The Ion Channel.”
A professor gives a talk titled, “The Brain in One Hundred Dimensions.”
Afterward, an attendee asks, “How do you visualize something in such high dimensions?”
The professor replies, “Easy. You just… don’t.”
If Schrödinger’s cat were a neuroscientist, would it study the living brain or the post-mortem brain first?
How did the topologist get around town?
With a Möbius strip, because it always kept him on the right path.
I had an argument with a 90° angle.
It turns out it was right.
I know a chemistry joke, but I fear it could get a bad reaction.
Two atoms bump into each other.
One says, “I think I lost an electron!”
The other asks, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive!”
Why are chemists excellent for solving problems?
Because they have all the solutions.
Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor?
There was no chemistry.
A photon checks in at a hotel.
The clerk: Any luggage?
Photon: No, I’m travelling light.
A science lecturer and a student walk into a restaurant.
The scientist says to the waitress: “Can I have a glass of H20?”
The barman hands over the drink and the lecturer walks away.
Wanting to fit in, the student says to the waitress: “I’ll have a glass of H20 too.”
His funeral is tomorrow.
Did you hear about the girl who got cooled to absolute zero?
She’s 0K now.
“How’s the restaurant on the moon?
The food was fine, but it had no atmosphere.
Where does bad light end up?
In a prism.
What was Schrödinger’s favorite childhood book?
The Cat in the Box by Dr. Seuss.
Who is the most emotional woman in the world?
Amy G. Dala.
Thermodynamics meets neuroscience every time you realize that remembering things takes more energy than forgetting them.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and the opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why did Werner Heisenberg detest driving cars?
Because, every time he looked at the speedometer he got lost.
Do you know what seems odd to me?
Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
Thanks for the memories.
